I’m still on a long, personal journey to uncover the voice that feels my own. All these years of wandering weren’t wasted; they were preparation. This journey must pass through intense work and exploration; it can’t happen only in the mind, for memory is fragile. I have to create, discard, and create again; until what remains feels true.
Tag: art
silent reckoning
This body of work explores betrayal, moral ambiguity, and inner conflict through figurative expressionism. Each painting originates from a real-life emotional imprint.
Figures are morphed, placed in enigmatic settings. Animals serve as psychological reflections. The work invites discomfort and silence. Oil as a medium is used for its capacity to hold emotional weight.
This is not art for comfort. It is a moral witness, a visual time capsule for those willing to confront what lies beneath the surface.
Description of an art project as a preparation
why write
The act of writing reveals its deeper function: a disciplined way of metabolizing suffering. Stripped of cultural polish, it is a structured, and often solitary method of turning inner chaos into external order. In essence, writing becomes a healthy sublimation of darkness, transforming primitive drives into higher, even noble, expression.
The writer doesn’t escape suffering; they transmute it
The same force that might consume; as self-harm, addiction, or rage is redirected into language, image, and form. The pain doesn’t vanish, it’s recontextualized into meaning.
For me, writing is a healthy response to the absurdity and darkness of life, especially when it transforms. Addiction binds; destruction externalizes; rumination spirals. Writing integrates. It gives chaos a name, a clear boundary.
In that sense, the true writer isn’t escaping pain; they’re performing the psychological plumbing of living consciously. And for me, that remains the most persuasive argument for making art, not for others, but for oneself.
many lives
I carry many lives within me, but I will live them through one phase at a time. With the intensity of a storm, yet the soft transition of seasons that know when to move on. I do not need to do everything to express what matters most.
What matters is not how many forms I touch, but how fully I inhabit the truth I seek.
Let discomfort reveal, not contaminate
Engage challenging art and ideas with discernment, not fear. What unsettles you might also teach you something essential.
#1 Letter to younger self
drowning in theory
Never working on art, finished paintings are not to be seen. Is it fear lurking beneath?
Research spirals into endless ruminations, masquerading as progress. Waiting for the “perfect” conceptual depth; perfectionism masks fear of public judgment.
Hiding behind “multiple paths” to dodge the terror of committing to one signature body of work. Years go by and the mid-life crisis threatens.
perspective
An artist says “look at this”, gently directing our view to something specific, to see just the way they see; and feel what they feel. In this way they want you to connect on a deeper level, and to converse with you. Art is a means to make the viewer look at familiar things in a different perspective.
Audience of One
Even if my work is understood by just one person in the world, that is enough. What truly matters is someone who connects deeply on a spiritual and emotional level. One gentle soul who feels that connection, not through words but through silence. In that moment, all the effort and purpose of the work is fulfilled.
obscurity
At the personal level, many painters carry traits that steer them away from publicity. Introversion, perfectionism, or fear of ridicule can make exhibitions feel threatening and interviews unbearable.
This fear of public scrutiny could burrow deep and ruin with self-sabotage. The realisation that intense exposure could distance them from the very thing that keeps it authentic. An ideal scenario would be that an artist works in obscurity but is completely outside the sphere of influence or scrutiny. A feat rarely achieved by artist.
These hesitations are amplified by cultural narratives that equate obscurity with authenticity. Since the nineteenth‑century slogan “art for art’s sake,” bohemian subcultures have elevated the unrecognised artist to heroic status, casting commercial success as moral compromise. Van Gogh’s posthumous image established the modern template: the misunderstood genius who dies poor yet triumphant in integrity.
Artistic reputation is never built alone; it relies on dense networks of curators, critics, peers, and collectors. Painters who juggle care work, battle social marginalisation, or simply lack time for networking miss the informal circuits where opportunities circulate.